Today’s Wedding Wednesday? A sneak peak into the evolution of my relationship – and how we are preparing for the future!
Do you know this is one of the first pictures ever taken of me and Joe? (There might be one earlier at Met’s game…shhh). This was Memorial Day weekend two years ago – it was the night he met all my ski friends, and the night he asked me to be his girlfriend! Little did I know what the next two years would bring, and that I had found the man I would someday marry!
Joe is is the partner I’ve always dreamed of finding – he’s my best friend, he’s smart and funny, handsome – and there is a certain X factor of why we just work in a way no relationship has before. One of the things Joe has had to get used to (aka, learn to love) with me is that I’m a planner. From tonight’s dinner, to weekends, to the vacation we might take 6 months from now, I want to plan it all right now. Joe on the other hand? Much more spontaneous. We balance each other out, in the best possible way.
As you can imagine, there are a lot of things in life I haven’t been able to plan – but as someone who loves to plan everything (as soon as possible), there are a few things in our relationship that I think are absolute necessities and should always be planned for – aside from our wedding. And no – I’m not talking about a pre-nup – or kids….
I’m talking about the slightly unglamorous side of planning your lives together – planning in case of emergency. Law school – particularly my classes in Elder Law and Family Law Practice taught me the importance of being prepared. Don’t think it sounds very romantic? Trust me – it actually is. When you love your spouse, or spouse to be, you want to make sure that they are taken care of in case of any emergency.
So I decided to put together a list of things you should think about when getting married – but that people often forget. PS: Don’t you love this Bey & Jay style pic of us on our way to the Bahamas?First things first: Make a will. Sure – everything is great right now. And maybe you are thinking, even if anything happens to me without a will – everything will be left to my spouse. So what’s the point? True. But what if you want to make sure your parents, or child(ren) from a previous marriage are accounted for? What if you have specific requests? Like – you want your organs to be donated, or in case of emergencies you don’t want to be resuscitated? These are all things that you can outline with your spouse in a will and living will. Plus, if you are planning on having kids it’s just a good habit to to learn, that you have a will and update it whenever any major life changes occur.
Second thing you need to do? Get life insurance for each other. Why? You never know when something is going to happen – and you don’t want to leave your partner unprepared. This is especially important once you start planning to have kids. I’ve told Joe from day one that this is something we need to look into once we are married.
Why is it important to get it now? Should one of you get sick – it will then be too late. Even if you find it depressing: get it. Then you don’t have to think about it – or worry about it – again.
Another really important thing you and your spouse to be can do for each other? Save in case of emergency. Most of us are living paycheck to paycheck (in fact, 72% percent of us are!)- whether it’s because of student loans, low salaries thanks to the economy, or because you’ve depleted your funds with a large purchase (aka a home). But what would happen if one of you got sick or lost their job – how many paychecks would it take before you were in bad shape? For a lot of people – it’s just one.
The solution? Aside from your savings, you need to put aside money every month in case of emergency – to cover both emergency health care costs, and any day to day expenses that may arise. I know I’ve been guilty of not doing this in the past – especially when you start calculating what rent costs, food, etc – where are you supposed to get the money from? But putting aside a designated percentage is a good practice that could some day help you – and your spouse. (One way you can consider saving money for health emergencies is with Aflac.)
Since there were few months after law school I was without any health insurance (and I was nutty enough to go skiing), this really hits home for me. In retrospect, I should have protected myself with insurance instead of waiting to get it with a job. (If your job doesn’t offer insurance it’s good to know: Aflac offers accident, dental, life, vision, cancer, hospital intensive care and more voluntary insurance policies). I know now that my health insurance is not something I will ever let lapse again – because the debt is something that won’t just affect me anymore – it will affect Joe too. (And trust me, with my law school debt, I have enough. Sheesh.)
Next Wedding Wednesday will be a little less serious! I’ll have some behind the scenes of dresses I didn’t pick – plus all about the one that I did! Oh and ya know – tips on wedding dress shopping too! In the mean time, for more foodie fun, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own. Thank you for supporting our sponsors that make Lorimer Street Kitchen possible!